“FINE, body!”

A great athletic therapist I’ve seen once suggested that when my body speaks and asks for nourishment, and my mind rebels- when there is that tug-of-war between my heart and head- she suggested observing my body and reacting with compassion. 

She suggested that I respond by taking a second (like when I hear hunger strike at a “non-delegated meal time”) and responding with semi-exasperated albeit compassionate communication: “fineeee, body, OK, body.” (Minor eye roll)

That helped me put it into perspective, minimizing the struggle of “letting go”. As if it’s some kind of competition and instead of letting my mind “lose”, I just let the body be and surrender.

This helped me when I woke up at 3am famished and didn’t feel like a snack to tide me over- bitchwantedbreakfast…so:

After my abs n shit


I ate: very unphotogenic smoothie so I deleted it.

And then after I did my ride, I lay down for a bit. But was hungry for “lunch”(?????) at like 9!?

Egg avo hummus sesame seeds nooch. Also: my plates usually look like this with an array of condiments around them- I make it simple for most pics but like, secondsaregood.


I guess this is like the “pre-elevensies”…

So that little sentence helps.

I have a job interview today at a fruit market, that’ll be sweet because I am so needing work. 

And probs camping next week in boonies for peace.

Challo πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€πŸŒΎ

Recovery is Messy

Recovery is messy,

Confusing up down stressy,

Gut-wrenching and pesky,

Is this meal brunch? Linner? Breaky?

Hotel continental breakfast salad-version at Best Western. Didn’t feel right eating the meat there…left only the saucisson.


HoWent to cousin’s beautiful wedding yesterday #bitchdidwha

Challenge and good.

Rest day today, hard AS 

Marinating on it, and sharing allthefeels soon.

Much love to whoever reads this, (I love you)

Look at those grins!


Can I eat dinner at 4:30? And I enjoy chicken skin, bone marrow, cartilage from da bird #exvegetarian

Fear food: ground beef

Scary because it’s all marbled n stuff…whatever though, letting go feels better. #imnocoward

Shanks Rowe Farms for the good sourced, hormone-free πŸ„

I made dis…



Literally: beef, olive oil, shallots, taco sauce 

I added stuff: avo, konjac noodles, portobello, salad.

#veganjustkidding 

#teamgetmelsperiodback

Sunday Rest Day

I’m quoting myself:

Listen to the whispers or you’ll be forced to abide by the screams.

On my wall


Post it lists of challenges for myself. 

I haven’t taken a rest day in way too long, and decided I’m taking Sundays off as I used to do. It was a non-negotiable.

Posting here for accountability. Will probs go to yoga still. 

Namaste 

Letting Go

Usually, I don’t do this shit: ingredients really are “non-food” items…

“Crab” salad: you know that “flavoured pollock” πŸ’©

So much poop in here, solittlecare

But you know what? #yolo and #lettinggo feels better.


Everything in moderation, even moderation is good. If this is my “treat”, then so be it. I really do enjoy this salad, and I really don’t have very much at all bc my body doesn’t like too much (probs knows it has yick stuff in der).

I like a little bit, life’s spicy when you follow your intuition.

#TEAMGETMELSPERIODBACK

Morning Journalling

Awareness note:

Because I need more reassurance that lowering my cortisol is vital ATM…

Why minimize stress? My body is in fight or flight mode- literally surviving and just trying to get my nutrients- it’s like “screw gut comfort”- all that isn’t the priority bc priority ATM is energy- the higher functions won’t even work. Hunger is skewed bc of hormone and high endorphin and emotions all whack. Must minimize stress so I can calmly eat, calm my gut-be in a state where my body has enough energy to create a peaceful digestion. Then I can explore my mental capacity and life purpose capacity and all life (refer to picture). Now priority is de-stress: lower cortisol.

Small Huge Wins

May not look like much, but this is Kohlrabi in sesame oil and maldonseasaltflakes (bc imstillachef)

I’m pissing on my own rules of no food btwn lunch and dinner, because #iwantmyperiodback. This little shift, esp adding oil, means a lot.

This combo was inspired by some radish-sesame-sea salt flake recipe. It was a real nice pairing πŸ‘ŒπŸ»

🍷here’s to the future baby of MEL (and all the other forms of healing n stuff like living life freely n helping my others and having my own retreat centre n winning races n tings).