“Healthy” isn’t so scary

Change is hard.  If you think about how hard it is to try to change ourselves, it’s even more challenging to attempt to catalyze someone else’s change.  All we can do is try to emulate inspiration and channel it through our own desire to ameliorate ourselves.

I want to heal from anorexia.  I’m at a point of less thoughts, more feelings as I act before my mind has time to dictate choices based on ingrained, non-serving patterns.

Many mantras I’m summoning after thoughts deter me from health;

Will this help me win a 10k?”

What would someone who loves themselves do?

is “healthy” so scary?

“THINKOFTHECHILDREN” (getting my period back…)

But my recent endeavour is in acting on intuition before the mind engages in its games.  Ex: Fuelling right after training, no thoughts, just feelings.  Or eating before my routinized mealtimes, based on hunger.  I know that the emotional healing is also integral, but at the moment, proper nutrition is so vital, because I’m skinnier than I’ve ever been, and I know that I will be more able to act rationally and use my mind instead of it using me, as I have enough energy.

That’s it that’s all.

(I’m also making tshirts and merch with puns on them….)


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